It's Often About Getting to Know People

Hello and welcome - as warm a welcome as I can provide through a flat or, for those still using CRT, slightly rounded screen. I'm capitalising on the wonderful opportunities the internet provides, just like many fine folk before me, by taking advantage of The Blog. I want you to get to know me not as the powerhouse of a Producer you may have had the good fortune to encounter, but as a writer.

Too many people don't know that my most engrossing personal hobby and consuming passion is the written word. I love language. I love grammatical Nazis and poetic dialogue. I love realistically portrayed exchanges and vitriolic satire. I love all there is to love about words that much more talented people before me have loved and wrought into their own expression and art. I also love a great fart joke.

An appauling segue for a terrible topic, I know. I think it's important though. If you're to get to know me through my writing, I want you to know me as deeply as your best friend. That includes my good and bad qualities. A great fart and/or shit joke (oh yes, I'll never sink so low as to ignore the fart's unwelcome senior) has left me giggling euphorically long after the sharpest stab of satrical wit has poked my side. I don't often employ them in my work as they aren't for everyone, but a fart joke applied to a topic in a thoughtful way is gold. Just the idea of Matt and Trey working out the most artful way to include the word 'dookie' in a spray against some political adversary makes me chuckle.

The fart joke is much maligned for the exact same reasons I love them. They're crude, juvenile and cheap. My word aren't they just! Isn't it nice every now and then to let yourself enjoy something silly and childish? What is it about a fart that makes you laugh? It's a funny sound, isn't it? And they're woefully inappropriate in almost all refined or simply mundane situations. That's just it. It's that little dig at the pompous, pretentious bloat one gets when spending too much time focussing on high art. I certainly don't encourage the use of farts like a machine gun in Vietnam. I recall one god awful sketch on Skithouse (a long forgotten whale of a turd that beached itself on Channel 10 years ago). In it, we were subjected to a parody of Fight Club called - *cringe* - Fart Club. The Durdenesque leader explained the rules and then a clubroom of members proceeded to lift cheek and juicily expel wind. That's an example of fail.

South Park and anything Trey and Matt are behind is an example of FTW. I mention them twice because they use use anus to hit more often than miss and for that, I love them.

So there you are; a ramble about one particular predeliction I have that unfortunately comes from the back of your pants. Maybe my future posts will take you on slightly more scenic routes - but then maybe you enjoyed it? Either way, you now know me and my writing a little better.