Showing posts with label Music. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Music. Show all posts

May 24, 2011

I Want A Music Video For Free


Dear music industry,
This is a break-up. Neither of us is to blame: It's just worked out this way. You wanted something great as cheaply as you could get it, I wanted to make something great and be paid appropriately for my time. That's cool. We're living in a capitalist society, baby. I need to eat and build my business, you need to perform and build your profile.

I thought that if I made a few music videos for free, then cheap, I'd be able to build my way up to decent budgets. You were kind enough to work with me. We were gentle at first. Passionate. We'd stay up late, wrapped in each other's ideas. All too quickly, I noticed your enthusiasm start to wane. Was it because I wanted to invite all those extras in to our special thing? I couldn't help but feel that you were scared: scared of losing your precious cred, or whatever image you'd built for yourself (even though your fans were as numbered as the amount of comments on a blog post).

But we stuck together. You'd pull out of projects, leaving me to start all over again. Money was always an issue. I'd forgive you for not emailing or answering back for weeks at a time. I felt like a fool, but slowly, we made progress. Budgets got a little bigger. Remember that happy time I re-cut a video for you because the over-priced international director botched the shoot? We were so happy then, the result of our union filled us with pride. We'd finally made it: you, now a major international record label, me a talented producer with so many more great ideas.

Imagine my surprise, then, when I discover you want an entire music video for free. You, a major international record label, telling me how well your client is doing, then asking for a music video, pre- to post- for free. I shouldn't be surprised. It's my fault. I'd conditioned you to treat me this way by being cheap, free when you need me. I'm the whore, but at least I can leave this abusive relationship.

I'm sorry music industry, there's just no money in you. Maybe if you can prove you consider me worthwhile, we might one day get back together. For now, I'm afraid we have to break up.

Warm thoughts,
The film industry.

Nov 13, 2009

ON TRIAL: The Black Eyed Peas

The court will come to order! Prosecution, your witness.

Your Honour, the following shall be noted as (sic) from confidential sources. The Prosecution submits to the court The Black Eyed Peas, performing single Joints & Jam from their debut album behind the front.
Got the state's appeal with the joint's that real
I don't need no steel to make my point
Get down and dirty cuz that's my joint
Ha! We preferably make all points
Through a nation we build off the musical field
Or a visual thrill, we do what we feel
Any time or place, on stage in ya face
Over tea in Earth and outer space
Next, Weekend, a single from their second album, Bridging the Gap.
I called Chad on Wednesday night
So we could make plans for Thursday night
He said "we could go hit the peapods"
I was like yeah, that's my favorite spot
Plus I like it there, cuz I got love on the list
High powered juice, where I don't even get frisked
Walk up in the place and get love from the misses
Pounds from my brothers, cuz they knowing that disses
The place to be to let it all out
But when the weekend come, the weekend come
Y'all could come
So go tell ya momma come and ya papa come
Go to spin the record so we can get dumb
Place packed, capacity maximum
Due to my man Polo Promotion
And I can't wait to go out and hear some
Skip ahead and the band takes a turn, making millions on very popular singles. One of which is the current single, Meet Me Half Way, from The E.N.D.
I spent my time just thinkin thinkin thinkin bout you
Every single day yes, i'm really missin' missin' you
And all those things we use to use to use to do
Hey girl, wuz up, it use to be just me and you
I spent my time just thinkin thinkin thinkin bout you
Every single day, yes i'm really missin missin you
And all those things we use to use to use to do
Hey girl wuz up, wuz up, wuz up, wuz up
And lastly, from the same album, a number one charting single from a hip-hop band, known formerly for flowing rhyme - Boom Boom Pow.
Gotta get-get, gotta get-get
Gotta get-get, gotta g-g-g-get-get-get, get-get
Boom boom boom, gotta get-get
Boom boom boom, gotta get-get
Boom boom boom, gotta get-get
Boom boom boom, gotta get-get
Boom boom boom, now
Boom boom boom, now
Boom boom pow
Boom boom
I'm so 3008
You so 2000 and late
I got that boom, boom, boom
That future boom, boom, boom
Let me get it now
Boom boom boom, gotta get-get
Boom boom boom, gotta get-get
Boom boom boom, gotta get-get
Boom boom boom, gotta get-get
Boom boom boom, now
Boom boom boom, now
Boom boom pow
Boom boom pow

The Prosecution rests, your Honour.

GUILTY! *gavel gavel gavel*

Jun 19, 2009

What the World Needs Now...

Does anyone else love that in every single automated toilet around Melbourne, you're always serenaded by What The World Needs Now (is Love) by Burt Bacharach, played on muzak piano? So comforting, in the same way I feel whenever The Simspons is on the TV. It just feels safe and right.

Jun 10, 2009

Entry Songs

This is how it goes: I'm a douchey sort who is resistant to certain recording artists because my pretensions get in the way. I say, sometimes justifiably, "I won't listen to that band. I heard 'em on the radio and they are deservéd of my scorn." I then shut my blinds and masturbate with giant headphones on listening to 1990s alt-rock, crying nostalgically.

But sometimes there are one or two songs that crop up. I might be sick of Triple J's Aussie hiphop boner or Gold and Vega are both playing the exact same ad three times in a row. I switch to Fox or Double T (I don't care, they'll always be Double T to me!!) and hear a song I've gleaned snippets of before. Maybe I got a whiff in a clothing store and tapped my foot. Maybe it was buried in a movie soundtrack. I find myself digging this song by the artist I hate.

Usually it's a track that departs from the regular style propogated by the artist. For me, it's usually a bit more rokin', a bit more serious or a bit more moody. Sometimes it's straight up catchy-as-balls pop. Suddenly, my resolve melts and I think the phrase from which I can
never return: Hmm, they aren't so bad...

These songs are entry or gateway songs. They catch you off guard or slip in through the back door, and they're great for a band or singer to reach a broader audience. The funny thing is, accepting one song usually does lead to liking the rest, because the group's individual tale on melody, rythm, singing or playing becomes familiar to you and makes the rest of the back catalogue more accessible to you.

Just like maurijuana led me to impure cocaine, a well crafted pop song can lead you to puritanical ruin.

May 17, 2009

The Vine of Thievery!

Disclaimer (to protect me!): The following information is speculative and includes interpretations made by me. I'm no lawyer, so be aware I may be wrong. The excerpts are from The Vine and were copied without permission insofar as I don't believe I needed to seek it. If I'm wrong, tell me and I'll take it down - I'd rather not be sued thanks.

The Vine is an odd thing.
It's a website that is owned by Fairfax Digital, right. The site is all about Web 2.0. For those many out there that have heard that phrase a million times but secretly have no idea what it is, Web 2.0 basically means the site owner sets up the framework for the site but instead of the owner and their writing team coming up with content, you the regular public fill it up with goodies. Facebook is an example. The Vine is too.

The Vine is supposed to be a news and info site that dishes up reviews, rants and news about entertainment - eating, drinking, movies, music, fashion, books... only any old Joe can sign up and blog away about their chosen field. That's not a bad way to stay up to date while keeping it grass roots, is it? No one seems to get paid, of course. You're donating your words and time. There may be staffers, but the site has no obvious links to them.

Here's where it gets a little sticky.

When you sign up, there are three different sets of terms and conditions you need to agree to. Two are for the site, the other is for Fairfax Digital, because you're signing up to their entire online network. That's a bit yucky right there, because Fairfax privacy terms can be construed as being impolite (to put it mildly) with information they collect from users and the organisation has been accused of using dubious tactics in the past. If Trent Reznor is on one side of the privacy and security viewpoint, Fairfax are on the exact opposite. What does that mean? It means you really have no idea who your email or credit card information will go to and as a result, your inbox is very likely to be filled with emails you'd rather not have and don't recall asking for. Oh, and people you don't know may have your credit card details if you've entered them.

If you read the terms and conditions, you'll see where it gets stickier still. The Vine and Fairfax own EVERYTHING you contribute to their site. By agreeing, you give up all moral and legal rights to your words and are not allowed to claim anything back. It specifies very clearly that The Vine are allowed to reprint your work in any other format, even as a published hard copy book to sell or give out in any location worldwide and that you aren't entitled to a single cent.

I'm going to come right out and say it: The Vine is bullshit.
If you don't care about the above, go nuts, but if you like owning your own words and hope to make a name for yourself, don't write for them. You'll be giving up any smarts you put down and the chance of getting your name out there are rubbish when you look at what you are giving up, which is essentially anything you give them.
There are many other paid or at least fair opportunities for writers out there. Hell, anything's better than the disrespectful and horrid terms laid out by Fairfax Digital.



Below are some chunks from the privacy policy (full version linked here) and conditions (linked here) that illustrate my point.

Excerpts:
What they do with user information is laid out below.
What information we collect
In general, the personal information we collect includes (but is not limited to) name, contact details and possibly financial information, including credit card information.
We also collect information about you that is not personal information. For example, we may collect anonymous data relating to your activity on our website (including IP addresses),


How we disclose it
We may disclose personal information, and you consent to us disclosing your personal information, to other members of the Fairfax Group.
We may also disclose your personal information, and you consent to us disclosing your personal information, to third parties:
- including our shareholders, Fairfax Digital Limited and Lifelounge Pty Ltd;
- engaged by us to perform functions or provide products and services on our behalf, such as newsagents, processing credit card information, mailouts, debt collection, marketing, research and advertising;
- that sponsor or promote any competition that we conduct or promote via our services;
- as required or authorised by any law;
- as part of a sale of all or part of our business.
What happens when you put anything onto the site.
By uploading, transmitting, posting or otherwise making available any Material via the Site, you:
(a) grant us a non-exclusive, worldwide, royalty-free, perpetual, licence to use, reproduce, edit and exploit the Material in any form or on any medium and for any purpose;
(b) also grant each user of the Site a non-exclusive, worldwide, royalty-free, perpetual, licence to use, reproduce, edit and exploit the Material for any purpose subject to the Conditions;
(e) unconditionally waive all moral rights (as defined by the Copyright Act 1968) which you may have in respect of the Material.
The conditions then go on to say:
Intellectual Property
Except where expressly provided otherwise in the Conditions, you do not have any right, title or interest in or to any proprietary rights relating to the Site.

The Site contains Material that is protected by copyright, trade mark and other laws. Except where expressly provided otherwise in the Conditions, you may only reproduce and display the Material on the Site for your own personal, non-commercial use only. Except for the temporary copy held in your computer's cache and a single permanent copy for your personal reference, the material may not otherwise be used, stored, reproduced, published, altered or transmitted in any form or by any means in whole or part (except where such use constitutes fair dealing under the Copyright Act) without our prior written approval or the written approval of our licensor.

In particular, you may not use any Material on the Site to establish, maintain or provide, or assist in establishing, maintaining or providing your own publications, Internet site or other means of distribution.
If Material is defined as "text, illustrations, photos, audio, video or other material" on the site, and your works, as soon as they are submitted, become property of The Vine, then doesn't that mean that as soon as you put your work up, you aren't allowed to use it for anything else, ever? Or at least that you have to ask permission from The Vine to use it? That, my friends, is very wrong or at least very unprofessional, especially in light of the fact that you are not paid and thus it isn't even a commission work.

If you know of other sites that use a similar model, please let me know in the comments section. Yuck!

May 14, 2009

Save The Empire

Before I start I must point out that the following is purely anecdotal and speculative, as with almost all blogs. It may come to pass that it is speculative fiction. If so, lemme know.

I lament the loss of independent retailers who sell music, movies and video games in Australia. I'm a nerd, so I have a self-righteous notion that I know everything there is to know about cult entertainment. That's just how nerds work. It's fairly well documented in the memories of anyone over 20 that there used to be way more cool little shops in and around the city. Little shops that sold one or a combination of the following: weird Japanese music; strange Faces of Death type VHS tapes; imported games for console systems that never came out in Oz; and bongs. Lots and lots of bongs.

They're still around, but in ever decreasing numbers. They totter on the brink like endangered animals. My heavily nostalgic generation pop in whenever we can, paying about the same or a little extra to keep the indy alive. Obsessed greenies and zoo keepers who force pandas to mate because we'd hate to see them go. In Melbourne, they're still around. Polyester Records and Books. Missing Link. Radical Records out in Dandenong.

Some of them are no longer with us.

For me, the big hit was Gaslight Records. It used to sit on Bourke Street until the wide garage doors were locked shut forever (or until some handbag place took over). This was the first time I noticed the indy was slowly disappearing. iPods were just starting to build momentum and the idea of buying MP3s online was starting to become a reality. Napster had been killed but Kazaa was still untouched. Ridiculous panic hadn't blurted out of the majors yet, but it was starting to bubble at the lips. JB HiFi and Sanity were everywhere. This was before Virgin bought both Sanity and HMV, but after Brashs left and JB took over. Gaslight was closed down, out of business. I spoke to the owner of another little indy and he told me it was because of a combination of city rent, online music and the majors squeezing out all the little guys. This grizzled dude who I completely forget now predicted all his ilk would go down eventually. Globalisation and giant conglomerates, blah blah. I was surprised. I'd always thought majors and minors could co-exist. Then Games Rush at Highpoint got beaten down after a vicious gang-banging by Electronics Boutique (now EB Games) and JB, both offering video games either cheaper or with better advertising, irrespectively. We loved Games Rush! They had a massive range of second-hand N64 cartridges, cool rewards programs through the card you signed up for and they let you trade in for credit. Games Trader filled the void and they're pretty good, but their blinding, heavenly-white-lit chains aren't the same as that one dingy, poorly decorated place I miss so much.

Why? The culture. The atmosphere. The sense that these people around me - the manager behind the desk with hair grey before his time, his geeky employee with a Zerg t-shirt, the black clad metal head with knee length shorts, the snooty chick in the beret - wankers though we are, these people and I know what we're looking at, talking about, buying. We care about these silly records, these dumb DVDs, these buggy cartridges.

I liked that the people at these stores knew more than me. I was educated. I was shown new things not because they wanted to sell the latest shipment, but because the product was exciting, suited me or was damn cool. Coming back and telling the same guy his recommendation was awesome. The ability to browse without feeling pressure to buy. Getting to know the people behind the counter, maybe even the regular customers. Tarantino and Randall both loved what they did because they got to do what they loved - watch movies all day. I still daydream about owning a record store, a DVD shop, a video games emporium. Knowing what they love made them people in the know.

On the flip side are the majors, the Great Evil that arrives every 5000 years to extinguish life. This time, Leeloo never made it past the building dive and we're stuck with JB, Virgin and EB. Inside are employees, morons who know everything about anything except games, movies and music. I get frustrated when I ask for the original Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles live action and get given the TMNT animated flick. I get annoyed when they've never heard of the Criterion Collection. Elliot Smith being nominated for an Oscar but his music missing from JB, HMV and Sanity's "massive range" when one of my friends went in to buy one of his albums for a birthday present.

OK. These employees are just doing it for the money. They need work. I can't be too hard on them for not knowing their shit (though I do secretly expect them to). They aren't hired for that. That's why these companies buy computer databases. But that's the point: these companies simply aren't what the indy can be and the majors never intended to be. They are large capitalist machines that do what they need to do to to meet mass demand. If I want in-depth knowledge I should go to an indy. But what happens if those guys can't afford to go on or are bought out and when we blink, the endangered species are extinct? In this environment, there's really no way an indy can spring back once it's gone. The atmosphere of community is a beautiful thing and I hope upon hope that we can somehow retain it, rather than becoming obese consumers floating around on couch TVs and interacting through screens.

Support your local. Go buy something from them.
And for bonus points, remember: any money made off of a second-hand sale goes 100% to the store. EB mark up a shit load as it is. They don't need the money. The little Games Trader in Moonee Ponds does, so buy a second-hander from him instead.
Buy your second-hand purchases from indy folk. They need the gorgonzola.

[I must admit that Games Trader are pretty good. They represent the shining hope that larger chains can retain product knowledge and community respect. On a side note, have you noticed Time Zone and Intencity arcades seem to be shrinking while independent arcade places continue on in shopping centres? Apparently its more common that independent arcade games providers (who are notoriously cut-throat and ruthless) supply sole spaces with games. Maybe this is the one industry where the reverse is true.]


SPECIAL FEATURE: While looking up info for this blog, I found this series of awesome ads for various consoles, games and accessories of the past.
http://www.gametraders.com.au/#retro
My faves were the Power Glove and Super Smash Bros.

Postscript: I don't like the film Empire Records (except for LaPaglia's drumming). I couldn't help but use it for the title of this post because it's so damn fitting. Sorry.

May 6, 2009

This'll Make Your Eyeballs Water Or Your Nipples Hard

It all started when I heard Ben Harper and his new band Relentless7 perform a cover of Queen and David Bowie's Under Pressure. It was an acoustic performance on Triple J's Like A Version.

Some background: My favourite song in the entire world is Queen and David Bowie's Under Pressure. It is singable, danceable, resonates deeply with its dual hopefulness that love can save the world and the stinging understanding that it never will. It soars majestically at its climax. It's a fantastic fucking song by two brilliant sorts with magical voices and intimidating skills and presence.

I didn't really have an opinion on Ben Harper aside from the fact that Diamonds on the Inside drove me crazy with its oppressive prevalence in 2003.

Harper's cover of Under Pressure has resulted in my complete and utter conversion. I don't care - one song can a believer make. It's a true and faithful cover. It honours the spirit of the original. It is beautiful. It made me cry.
Follow the link, click the little box in the top right of the header (or search for Like a Version, JTV or the juke box). Watch it. If you like the song like I do, I hope you'll love it.

I love David Bowie. Anyone who knows me knows that, or should if they want to claim they know me. If you have a car battery clamped to someone who claims to know me's delicate parts and you ask them whether I like Bowie or not, if they reply no, fry 'em. Fuck, fry 'em anyway, 'cuz who doesn't like Bowie? Wankers, that's who.

Queen formed the backbone of my appreciation for Rock. I humbly and faithfully prostrate myself in the traditional goat-horned prayer at the altar of Rock. I pray to the Gods nightly. My dad played us Queen from an early age. We headbanged to Bohemian Rhapsody in the back of his big red Volvo station wagon. We listened eagerly to the slow build of bike bells that Dad informed us was "mag-nificent" in Bicycle Race and giggled to Fat Bottomed Girls (a song I now consider one of the best). My sisters and I danced on the sheep skin rug like teeny tiny maniacs while Don't Stop Me Now blasted from the stack speakers and record player. When I grew up, I came to appreciate the nostalgia of Radio Ga Ga. With my personal discovery of Bowie came the deepest respect for Under Pressure, cemented forever when Taylor Hawkins admitted immediately, without even thinking, that the same song was his all time favourite when asked on some TV interview. Along with Deep Purple, Queen started the hellacious fire of Rock in my heart that tore down to my loins and was never extinguished.

With that in mind and because Freddie Mercury was one awesome, voice-shreddin', hip-swaggerin', cock-suckin' mother fucker, I give you these links:
Now go forth and look up the original and the best Queen clips and songs.

UPDATE of AWESOMENESS: For the video to Bicycle Race, "Queen staged a bicycle race with 65 naked women... The song is famed for its 'bicycle bell solo', which fans would often replicate live at Queen concerts with their own such bells." - wiki