http://www.thepunch.com.au/articles/I-might-be-an-elite-tosser-but-at-least-I-can-spell/
Lots of people seem to think I'm an absolutely terrible writer, but there are also some out there who think this is pretty damn funny.
See what you think, then viciously assault me!
Jun 22, 2011
Jun 17, 2011
Film Victoria Sent Me A Package
I completed a producer's survey for Film Victoria. As thanks, completely unsolicited, they were kind enough to send me a notepad with built in pen holder and thin post-its and a deck of playing cards with locations and Victorian-shot films on them.
I'm not ungrateful, but in the wake of the $45k dinner party, I have to ask two questions:
1. Was this provided via in-kind or heavily discounted support?
2. If not, what was the spend, and was it necessary?
Anyone know anything? Sound off in the comments.
I'm not ungrateful, but in the wake of the $45k dinner party, I have to ask two questions:
1. Was this provided via in-kind or heavily discounted support?
2. If not, what was the spend, and was it necessary?
Anyone know anything? Sound off in the comments.
Jun 4, 2011
Film Victoria Responded: Short Films and Emerging Filmmakers
Film Victoria called me. Sort of.
I tweeted my post about Film Victoria seemingly giving up on short films and asked Film Vic is they cared to respond. I got a DM asking me to give a certain someone at their office a call.
I called, and was put onto a nice lady from the investment area. She admitted she hadn't read the article and wasn't particularly sure what I was talking about. Their twitter feed is maintained by their marketing co-ordinator, who hadn't forwarded my concern on. I was going in fresh, so I let her know my concerns.
The ma'am at Film Vic, who I don't want to name just in case, was lovely. She sympathised with the difficult nature of coming up form the bottom, having come from publishing into film being told she may as well swim in lava for all the chance she'd have of staying afloat (I'm paraphrasing).
She told me about Raw Nerve, Springboard, Internships and Propellor Shorts, all programs made to cater for the emerging filmmaker. Some of them aren't always running, some come and go. Some I was aware of, some I wasn't. Hopefully I can make you all more aware too, and we can flood these fuckers with quality material that's been gone over with a fine-toothed comb and keeps the audience front and centre.
I was also made aware of 37°South, the sales market for our kind. This is for features only but still useful.
I tweeted my post about Film Victoria seemingly giving up on short films and asked Film Vic is they cared to respond. I got a DM asking me to give a certain someone at their office a call.
I called, and was put onto a nice lady from the investment area. She admitted she hadn't read the article and wasn't particularly sure what I was talking about. Their twitter feed is maintained by their marketing co-ordinator, who hadn't forwarded my concern on. I was going in fresh, so I let her know my concerns.
The ma'am at Film Vic, who I don't want to name just in case, was lovely. She sympathised with the difficult nature of coming up form the bottom, having come from publishing into film being told she may as well swim in lava for all the chance she'd have of staying afloat (I'm paraphrasing).
She told me about Raw Nerve, Springboard, Internships and Propellor Shorts, all programs made to cater for the emerging filmmaker. Some of them aren't always running, some come and go. Some I was aware of, some I wasn't. Hopefully I can make you all more aware too, and we can flood these fuckers with quality material that's been gone over with a fine-toothed comb and keeps the audience front and centre.
I was also made aware of 37°South, the sales market for our kind. This is for features only but still useful.
May 24, 2011
I Want A Music Video For Free
Dear music industry,
This is a break-up. Neither of us is to blame: It's just worked out this way. You wanted something great as cheaply as you could get it, I wanted to make something great and be paid appropriately for my time. That's cool. We're living in a capitalist society, baby. I need to eat and build my business, you need to perform and build your profile.
I thought that if I made a few music videos for free, then cheap, I'd be able to build my way up to decent budgets. You were kind enough to work with me. We were gentle at first. Passionate. We'd stay up late, wrapped in each other's ideas. All too quickly, I noticed your enthusiasm start to wane. Was it because I wanted to invite all those extras in to our special thing? I couldn't help but feel that you were scared: scared of losing your precious cred, or whatever image you'd built for yourself (even though your fans were as numbered as the amount of comments on a blog post).
But we stuck together. You'd pull out of projects, leaving me to start all over again. Money was always an issue. I'd forgive you for not emailing or answering back for weeks at a time. I felt like a fool, but slowly, we made progress. Budgets got a little bigger. Remember that happy time I re-cut a video for you because the over-priced international director botched the shoot? We were so happy then, the result of our union filled us with pride. We'd finally made it: you, now a major international record label, me a talented producer with so many more great ideas.
Imagine my surprise, then, when I discover you want an entire music video for free. You, a major international record label, telling me how well your client is doing, then asking for a music video, pre- to post- for free. I shouldn't be surprised. It's my fault. I'd conditioned you to treat me this way by being cheap, free when you need me. I'm the whore, but at least I can leave this abusive relationship.
I'm sorry music industry, there's just no money in you. Maybe if you can prove you consider me worthwhile, we might one day get back together. For now, I'm afraid we have to break up.
Warm thoughts,
The film industry.
May 21, 2011
May 12, 2011
The Budget for the Poor Middle Class
A quick examination of the Herald Sun's coverage of the budget, because I'm not sure if kids are being taught about bias in school.
Here's the front page:
Let's start with the agenda. The Herald Sun generally don't like the Labor party, or perhaps prefer the Liberal party (I purposely did not say the Coalition). You can find evidence of this when you look at their coverage of past budgets under Howard and Costello, when Costello would be posed as a Superman of finance, literally shown wearing blue and red tights and cape.
The paper's aim is to make you dislike Labor's budget. The headline clearly sets out the mission statement, evoking 'unfairness' by reducing the entire budget into a snappy one-liner. After that, you might notice the brightly colored graphic:
What the hell does this have to do with anything, you might ask? Admiral Akbar would reply, "It's a trap!" The idea is to ask a question that most of us will answer, 'of course not!' to, warming up our blood because it's all so unfair. You'll notice they don't specify what rich might be, allowing our imaginations to form images of besuited CEOs and stuffy snobs in manors, sliding down money piles: the horrible moneybags we love to hate. Compared to 'the rich', a $150k family seems normal, regular, just like us.
From there, it's a full assault on the budget in relation to this $150k family. The paper shows only the downsides, costs and losses, none of the benefits like the car write off for tradies or small business owners. They run stories about struggling, suffering and scrimping families, but nothing about lower wage earners, students, pensioners or childless families. They unleash Miranda Devine from the opinion page.
Finally, they wrap up their coverage with a bookend graphic, this time showing overwhelmingly that YOU won't be better off with this budget. Never mind that they have no idea who you are, and that the voters in the poll make up only a small subsection of the populous who read the Herald Sun and are thus inclined to agree with it in the first place. (Note: below is the online version, which varies slightly from the print version above)
By now, we've been shown enough of an attack on this $150k family, the family that compared to the Monopoly guy, is full of saints and battlers, seemingly being ravaged by an unfair budget. The stuff the Herald Sun doesn't run keeps us from seeing the bigger picture. The budget affects THE NATION, not just one demographic slice of the population. The Herald Sun are trying to manipulate you, dear reader, by showing you the side of the story that benefits the paper the most. Their readers are generally this $150k family. Their owners prefer pro-business, conservative governments and consumers. Whether you agree with the budget or not, remember to look at the whole picture, not just one side's framing, before you judge.
Here's the front page:
Let's start with the agenda. The Herald Sun generally don't like the Labor party, or perhaps prefer the Liberal party (I purposely did not say the Coalition). You can find evidence of this when you look at their coverage of past budgets under Howard and Costello, when Costello would be posed as a Superman of finance, literally shown wearing blue and red tights and cape.
The paper's aim is to make you dislike Labor's budget. The headline clearly sets out the mission statement, evoking 'unfairness' by reducing the entire budget into a snappy one-liner. After that, you might notice the brightly colored graphic:
What the hell does this have to do with anything, you might ask? Admiral Akbar would reply, "It's a trap!" The idea is to ask a question that most of us will answer, 'of course not!' to, warming up our blood because it's all so unfair. You'll notice they don't specify what rich might be, allowing our imaginations to form images of besuited CEOs and stuffy snobs in manors, sliding down money piles: the horrible moneybags we love to hate. Compared to 'the rich', a $150k family seems normal, regular, just like us.
From there, it's a full assault on the budget in relation to this $150k family. The paper shows only the downsides, costs and losses, none of the benefits like the car write off for tradies or small business owners. They run stories about struggling, suffering and scrimping families, but nothing about lower wage earners, students, pensioners or childless families. They unleash Miranda Devine from the opinion page.
Finally, they wrap up their coverage with a bookend graphic, this time showing overwhelmingly that YOU won't be better off with this budget. Never mind that they have no idea who you are, and that the voters in the poll make up only a small subsection of the populous who read the Herald Sun and are thus inclined to agree with it in the first place. (Note: below is the online version, which varies slightly from the print version above)
By now, we've been shown enough of an attack on this $150k family, the family that compared to the Monopoly guy, is full of saints and battlers, seemingly being ravaged by an unfair budget. The stuff the Herald Sun doesn't run keeps us from seeing the bigger picture. The budget affects THE NATION, not just one demographic slice of the population. The Herald Sun are trying to manipulate you, dear reader, by showing you the side of the story that benefits the paper the most. Their readers are generally this $150k family. Their owners prefer pro-business, conservative governments and consumers. Whether you agree with the budget or not, remember to look at the whole picture, not just one side's framing, before you judge.
May 2, 2011
Osama Bin Laden? Wasn't he dead already?
A real conversation I just had.
Nurse: Have a good ride over?
Me: Yep! Was listening to the news.
Nurse: Tut tut, that's not very safe.
Me: Nah, it's all right. It was big news.
Nurse: *blank look*
Me: Bin Laden's dead. The President announced it.
Nurse: *blankness persists* Another one, was it?
Me: Sorry?
Nurse: Didn't they get the sons and cousins last week? Is this another one?
Me: Oh, no that's Gadaffi. Osama Bin Laden, leader of Al Qaeda? September 11.
Nurse: Aw yeah. I was in the right area, different person. Didn't they get him already?
Me: No, that was one of his underlings. A while ago.
Nurse: Oh. Well what happens now?
Me: Probably not much. There's always other leaders who'll step up.
Nurse: So it doesn't really matter, does it.
Me: Well...
Nurse: I thought you had big news about Prince Will and Pip, what's her name, Pippa?
Me: You mean Will and Kate?
Nurse: Oh yes, that one. Any news on them?
Me: God no, er, I don't know.
Nurse: Mmm. Just lie back for me, darl.
Nurse: Have a good ride over?
Me: Yep! Was listening to the news.
Nurse: Tut tut, that's not very safe.
Me: Nah, it's all right. It was big news.
Nurse: *blank look*
Me: Bin Laden's dead. The President announced it.
Nurse: *blankness persists* Another one, was it?
Me: Sorry?
Nurse: Didn't they get the sons and cousins last week? Is this another one?
Me: Oh, no that's Gadaffi. Osama Bin Laden, leader of Al Qaeda? September 11.
Nurse: Aw yeah. I was in the right area, different person. Didn't they get him already?
Me: No, that was one of his underlings. A while ago.
Nurse: Oh. Well what happens now?
Me: Probably not much. There's always other leaders who'll step up.
Nurse: So it doesn't really matter, does it.
Me: Well...
Nurse: I thought you had big news about Prince Will and Pip, what's her name, Pippa?
Me: You mean Will and Kate?
Nurse: Oh yes, that one. Any news on them?
Me: God no, er, I don't know.
Nurse: Mmm. Just lie back for me, darl.
Location:Clayton Rd,Clayton,Australia
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